The Mortal who lives for Kombat
by blackflashingfox1
Summary: THE FUCKSHIT DID I GET MY SELF INTO? I own nothing


"So, let me get this straight. I said as I looked at the two people who were standing infront of me. one had his very name on his chest, wore classes inside the bar, that we are curently in at the moment, and was a movie star who claimed to do his own stunts, which I believe as I had seen him fight plenty of times in this exact bar. Not that he started them, well, he encuraged them most of the time. The second man was a mystory to me, and aparently a martial artist trainer as he had the get up for it, but for some reason, I couldnt look away from his eyes. They looked like lightning was going off in them. "You want me to join the military special ops group, Which is made up of about five people if I join, did I get that right?" I asked, getting a nod from them. "Well, fuck me sideways, I thought I would never get a job like this." I said as I stood up and grabbed the guitar case that was to the side. "So, when can I fuck shit up?"

"As soon as you pass the training exersise." The man in the blue and white combat suit said, making me sit back down. "I have yet to get a hand on hand experience of your skills. There for, I will be your challange to see if you are worthy of joining the team." He said, making me groan.

"Hey, if it was up to me, I would totaly let you join." The man in the shades said with a smirk. "Your the first person to ever breack this pritty face." He saidas he rubbed his jaw. "But it's not up to me, it"s up to bolts here." He said, jerking his thumb over to the man.

"Johnny, there is no need for childish names at the moment, this is serious busness." The man said as he looked over at him. "Now, I know of the perect training area that we can test your-

 **"WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE CAGE MACH!?**. An announcer screamed out, with me grinning.

"Well, how about a cage mach Cage?" I asked Johnny, who grinned. "It's been a while since we fought, and I broke your jaw when I was fourteen, so ya, let's do this." I said as we both stood up and fistbumped. "Yo, big man, thats us!" I yelled as we walked over to the cage, leaving behind an annoyed old man.

As we entered the ring, the cage door was closed off. "You sure you want to fight, I remember kicking your ass last time." He said with a confident smirk.

"And I remember tapping your wifes ass last night." I waid as I got into my fighting stance, smirking at him.

"I'm devorced." He said with a slight frown as he got into a similer stance.

"No wonder why she left, I was ten times better than you in the sack." I said I saw his brow narrow.

"All you are is a cheep imitation of my movie self from the 90's." He said as he wipped his nose. "And like always, the origanil is always best."

"Except for fucking the same girl." I said, followed by a ding. We both charged at the other and kicked out, with both of our feet hitting the others. He kicked at my side with the same leg, but I grabbed his leg and tossed him to the cage, but he spun me around and tossed me instead. "Maybe I should of started off with this." I said, snapping my fingers. **"Royal guard."** I said silantly, feeling a puls of energy flowing through my body.

I ran back at Johnny and slid unded his kick that he sent at me. I smirked as I was behind him at the moment. He came at me with a spin kick from behind as I stood up, but I brought up my arm and blocked it, pushing me to the side a little. Turning around, I leaned back as he punched at me. I shot my head forward, hitting him dead in the face and knocking his shades off.

Looking down, he narrowed his eyes at me. "That was my second favorite pair." He said as he reached behind him, but started patting his back. "What the? The hell did my favorite pair go?" He asked as he looked around.

"You mean these bad boys." I said as I put on the same pair I had taken from him as I slid unded him. "Now whos the best?" I said, taking off the shades and tossed them to the cage, with them sticking in it.

"I still dont under stand how you do shit like that." He said as he charged at me again, with the both of us kicking the other back. "Move stealer!" He said as he jumped up and kicked at me, with me doing the same thing, but instead of one kick it was two. landing on the ground, i rolled forward as he tried to close line me. Turning around again, I grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the gut, or so I thought.

He placed his hands on my knee and forced his self up, where he then proceded to bring his elbow down on my head. Ignoring the pain, I grabbed his face and shoved him into the cage. Grinning, I started running along the cage, dragging him along with me. Reaching the pole, I smacked his face into it. Rolling his head as he stood up, he turned to face me. Narrowing his eyes, he jumped onto the cage, where he then pushed off of it and then dived kicked at me with a hint of green energy around him. "Not good." I said as I back handed his leg away, protecting my face.

"Not bad kid." He said as he stood up and faced me. "Last time I did that it ended up with a broken face, and it wasnt mine." He said with a smirk. "Your speed has increased and your not just using skills from my movies now.

"Your right, watching batman helped." I said as I acted like I threw batarangs at him, making him flinch. "But the sorry thing is, I'm not batman." I said as I ran at him as he flinshed. Jumping up, I socked him in the jaw, sending him to the ground. "And is that a knock out?" I asked as I looked at his downed form, only for his legs to shoot up and wrap around my neck. "Guess not." I said with little air I had at the moment. "Darkness, taking, over." I said as I passed out.

 **The next day**

"Why the hell am I on a couch that is comffy?" I asked as I sat up, only to see someone sitting next to me, and it wasnt Johnny or the old man. It was a girl in a white and blue jacket, a blue spourts bra, some fighting gloves that were strapped around her wrist, a pair of black tight jogging shorts, and blue shoes. "Where the hell have you been all my life?" I asked with a smirk, getting one in return.

"Stuck here, working out, shooting things left and right." She answered back with sarcasim. "Nice size by the way, very impressive." She said as she lowered her glasses.

"You snuck a peek?" I asked with a proud look. "Naughty girl, I'm supose to brag before I show you." I said as I wagged my finger at her. "Shame on you."

"I was talking about your shoe size." She said as she raizer her glsses.

"Oh I know, the bigger the feet, the bigger the-"

"UH-HUM!" We both turned to face Johnny as he stood at the door with his arms crossed. "I see that you are getting, aquanted with the other?" He said as he narrowed his eyes at us.

"Can I keep him?" She asked him with a smirk, with him smirking back.

"Only if we get him nuttered first." He said, making both of us flinch, me more than her. "Alright, this is your leader Cassie Cage." He introduced, with her blowing a bubble and popping it. "Cassie, this is Dakota Feichko, the man of many talints." He said, narrowing his eyes at me. "And trust me, his fightning may be dirty, but it's enough to breack my jaw." He said, with the both of us laughing.

"So, you're the one who broke my old mans jaw?" She questioned with a grin. "It must be huge if it did that to him." She said as she leaned back into the couch.

"He wishis thats what broke his jaw." I said as I looked at her. "Dame thing wouldnt fit so I tried kicking it in, and thats what broke his jaw." I said with a smirk as we both looked at Johnny, who looked annoyed. "And THIS is your daughter, she has the best pair of tits I've seen in years, and judging by the softness of her ass on my feet, she has the perfet ass." I said, with her jumping off my feet and walking over to the treadmil and leaning on it. "And it was starting to numb out." I said as I swung my self around and sat right. "So, you're my leader?" I asked, getting a nod from her.

"Yep, I'm the M to your S." She said as she crossed her arms. "But, if you want, I could be the S to your M when were alone." She said as she grabbed the bottle of water that was on the table to the side and took a sip of it.

"Or I could end up kicking both of your A-S-S for trying to do that." Johnny said, annoyed by the way we were talking about the other. "Seriously, you're not going to get involved with my daughter."

"Like I got involved with your wife?" I asked with a cheeky grin, getting a laugh from Cassie. "I'm sure that if I can make her leave you, I could make Cassie leave you for me, in about three, two, one."

"OH MASTER!?" Cassie said as she started swooing side to side. "I miss your hard-"

"ENOUGH!?" Johnny yelled out, making us both flinch. "I hate doing that." He said as he leaned on the door frame. "Seriously, we need to get to busnisse." He said as he looked over at the guitar case of mine. "Funny, I always thought there would be a guitar in there, not a sword and a pair of pistals." He said, before turning to me. "Do you know how to use them, or do you drag them where ever you go?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I know how to use them." I answered as I streached my arms out. "When I was in school, I would larp with people with real swords, sucked at first, but then I came across a black smith and asked him to make me a bad ass blade and he just tossed that thing at me. Cuts anything, from concret to marbile." I informed, impressing them. 'Even gave me a few special gifts." I thought with a smile.

"And the guns?" Cassie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"They, kind of came with the sword?" I said, not realy sure where they came from, but still some how got them. "Ever since I had the guitar case, they've been in there the entier time."

"Ok, and what about the demonic power thats running through your body?" He asked, making me raise an eyebrow at that.

"What demonic power, am I no longer human? Did I become a devil like the people from DXD or something? I wonder what I can do, do I have wings?" I asked as I looked on my back, hoping that they would pop out. "Nope, no wings, or tail that is." I said as I shrugged.

"So, you dont know a thing about the demonic energy?" He asked and I shook my head. "But, you used it during our match, the snap of your fingers?" He asked as he snapped his fingers.

"Oh, thats demonic power?" I said as I relised what he was talking about. "I thought that was a power that came with the sword." I said as I snapped my fingers. **"Ryal guard**." I said, feeling the energy pass through me. "All that dues is makes my hand to hand combat better, then theres swords master, gunslinger, quicksilver and doplganger." I informed, getting raised eyebrows from them. "Swords master alows me to change the sword into whatever I want, and use it at a masters level. Gunslinger is the same thing, but with guns, quicksilver alows me to slow time down to a milisecont and doplganger alows me to make a after image of me, but it kind of dues its own thing." I informed, with them snorting at me.

"You, slow down time." Johnny said as he rolled his head, indicaing he was rolling his eyes. "Imposible, I bet you just want to impress my daughter. Well guess what, not happening."

"Ok. I said, snapping my fingers. **"Quicksilver**." I said, feeling the power burst outwards. Looking around, I saw everything basicly stop. I walked over to Cassie, opened her mouth and took the gum out. I then walked over to the window and sat on the side, followed by time moving normal again. "And that is quicksilver." I said as I popped the gum in my mouth and started chewing it.

"Where did my gum go?" Cassie asked as he put her index finger to her lips. She then looked at me with a small glair, only to see me chewing said gum. "Nice trick, want to cop a feel next time?" She asked as she crossed her arms.

I might take you up on that, and the flaver ran out a while ago, didnt it?" I asked, getting a nod as she walked over to me, and ripped the gum out by forcing my mouth open with her hand. She lightly slapped my cheek and walked back to the couch and started chewing the same peice of gum. I smirked at her as I thought about the most, childish thing right now. "Indirect kiss." I said, with her rolling her eyes with a playful look.

"So you can do as you say." Johnny said as he walked over to me. "What about the other stuff?" He said as he stood infront of me.

 **"Doplganger**." I said with a snap, followed by a sepret me walking over to the door and walked out. "Ya, he is heading home, but in about a minute, he will vanish." I informed, getting ohs from them as they staired at the door. "Also, my doplgangers are more perverted than I am and might take some of your bras and panties. I informed with a smile.

"Eh, not worried about it." Cassie said as she leaned back into the couch. "Not like hes going anywhere with them." She said with a smirk.

I also recive there memories once they die." I said, before I got the memories from the doplganger. "It found your porno." I said as I looked at johnny, who looked shocked.

"The hell, I cant even find his porno!?" Cassie said as she stood up with a shocked look. "Where was it, I NEED to know!" She said as she pointed at me.

"You mean the men porn arnt his?" I asked, pointing at Johnny and getting a nod from Cassie, who was kind of blushing at the point. "And I had this whole gay joke ready for him." I said as I crossed my arms.

"So thats three out of five." Johnny said as he walked over to the guitar case. "Lets move on to the sword." He said as he pulled it out and tossed it over to me.

Catching it by the handle, I swung it around and placed it on my shoulder. I smirked at him as I held my hand up and snapped. **"Swordsmaster**." I said, feeling a pulse that went straight through my hand to the blade. It changed into a scythe, then an ax, folloed by a chained scythe and then a dagger. "See, it's no trick." I said as it turned back to the sword and tossed it into the air, with it landing back into the bag.

"The fuckshit just happened?" Cassie said as she looked at the bag then back at me. "That shouldnt be posible, best two out of three!" She said, with Johnny smirking at her.

"Trust me, he will do it again." He said, picking the sword back up and tossing it back to me. "I bet you, that he can make it five times in a row." He said as he crossed his arms. "I'll place ten bucks on the table."

"Ohhhh, I'll place twenty." Cassie said as she took said money out of her sports bra and placed it on the table. "Want to up your amount?" She said, but I just rolled my eyes and tossed the sword into the bag again.

"One." Johnny said as he tossed the sword back, with the catching it. I turned around and tossed it back, making it land in it again. "Two." He said, pulling it out again and back at me. Catching it, I spun around and tossed it back, with the same result. "Three." He said as he tossed it back. Catching it, I laied down on the ground and tossed it again, with it landing in the bag. "Four." Johnny said as he looked at his daughter. "One more and it's all mine." He said, with me rolling my eyes as he took the blade and tossed it at me. Grabbing the tip, I balanced it on one finger, before tossing it up. Jumping to my feet, I kicked it, with it landing back in the bag. "Five." He said, walking over to the table and taking the money.

"Fucking shit that was awsome." Cassie said as she staired at the bag. "How the hell did you pull that off, some serious luck?" She said as she looked over at me.

"It's been a gift of mine since I was born." I said as I cought the guns that Johnny tossed at me. "Hey, careful with the girls." I said as I spun them on my fingers and then tossed them up, snapping both fingers. **"Gunslinger**." I said, where I cought the guns and changed them into two AK47's, then a pair of sawed off shotguns, then finaly two UZI's before turning them back to normal. "Best thing about it, unlimited ammo." I said as I turned to the target practice range and started shooting the targer, until there wasnt anything left and still kept shooting with the same clips. Stopping, I walked over to the bag and placed them in the side pockets. "Love the girls and they will love you more." I said as I faced them with a smirk. "Never come at me with a gun war, because youll lose."

"Can I keep him, seriously." Cassie told Johnny, not looking away from me.

"Seriously, if you want him, he needs to be nuttered first." Johnny said with both of us flinching again.

"Still the master with that dame mouth, it might ever put Deadpool to shame." I said as I rolled my eyes.

"No, Deadpool wins, no challange." Cassie said, with me nodding in agreement.

"No one could beat Deadpool with his mouth, not even Deadpool could beat his self."


End file.
